I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
