the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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