Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
