I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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