All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
True college students do jello shots in the library
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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