her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize