Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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