dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
