It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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