It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
