We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The ass gains better be worth it
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