i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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