Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
