We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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