dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I faked an abortion last night.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
