he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
