my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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