Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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