My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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