I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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