I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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