bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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