I'm going to jail i love you
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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