wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
