69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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