he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
