Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
