So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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