dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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