Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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