You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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