I heard we made out
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
