I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
