just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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