If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i think i just lost a toe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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