How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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