i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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