he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
