I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
