We're facebook friends in real life
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
