I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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