I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
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dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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