So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
