I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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