I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
