READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize