are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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