He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
