batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
