We named our party play list daddy issues
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
