they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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