you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
