You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
