no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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