The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
