New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
