This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
