Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
