And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
