you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
