He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
