Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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