Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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