If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
