I hate your face
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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