She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
