This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
