I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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