This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
